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About Me

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Yes, I am a lawyer. Please don’t hold it against me. Many people do not like lawyers. They say they rarely return phone calls. Others complain that they charge too much money. Many say they do not speak plain English and instead speak what is sometimes called ‘legal gibberish’. Some even think that lawyers are all crooks.

Many people think that lawyers should be eliminated altogether. But America loves lawyers. We have more lawyers, per capita here, than any other nation in the world. When I passed the bar and started practicing law, the registration number assigned to me was 2,386. That’s what lawyers were like in Colorado, USA If I told you how many lawyers there are in Colorado today, you wouldn’t believe me and think I was lying. By the way, you know how to tell if a lawyer is lying, right? If his mouth moves.

Once again, many people think that lawyers should be eliminated altogether. Shakespeare, in Hamlet, has the line: “The first order of business should be to kill all lawyers.” Heaven forbidden! Pogo, our cartoon philosopher friend, gave us an alternative: “Let’s just shorten your legal notebooks.” This sounds like a much more realistic idea to me. Doesn’t it happen to you too?

I write different types of articles: business, spiritual and human development. I call myself ‘The Business Coach Lawyer’ and ‘The Gospel Coach.’ Most people can understand me writing articles on law and business. But many cannot understand me writing spiritual articles. Some people have said, “How can you be a lawyer and a Christian too? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?”

At a funeral, the minister said: “Here lies a lawyer and a good Christian.” A colleague asked the minister: “Did they bury two men in the same grave?” But, yes, I write spiritual articles. My focus is living daily life in the power of the finished work of the gospel of Jesus.

My purpose in these humorous articles is simply to give more love to us lawyers. Maybe just more tolerance for us? Choose your option. Don’t forget to hug your lawyer today. On second thought, maybe that’s not a good idea. Ignore that advice.

Remember, lawyers are people too. Well, at least most of us. And at least most of the time. Whichever is older. Or at least. Or maybe both.

Those Legal EAGLES (or are they ‘BEAGLES’?)

Lawyers are the legal eagles of society! We are the custodians of freedom!! We are the protectors of the people!!! We are the bastions of justice!!!! We are the defenders of the Constitution!!!!! And if you believe this, then I also have a beachfront property in Denver, Colorado that I also want to sell to you.

We all know what an eagle is. It is a large, beautiful and strong bird that is the symbol of the United States. We lawyers like to think of ourselves as legal eagles. We also all know what beagles are. It is defined as a dog that is a small hound, with a splendid smooth coat, short legs and floppy ears. They also have a wide throat and produce a deep growl or ferocious bark. This describes many lawyers I know.

It’s hard for lawyers to stay motivated

It’s especially hard for us lawyers to stay motivated because of all the negative lawyer jokes we hear all the time. I wish people would go back to Pollock jokes. But I’m not so sure about this either, because Sir Frederick Pollock was a famous English barrister, barrister and jurist.

I feed on these things because it is very difficult for us lawyers to stay motivated. That is, unless we’re suing someone. Because? Because we lawyers are the most enthusiastically negative people in the world. But it is not without cause.

In defense of lawyers (most of whom need a lot of defense), do you have any idea how difficult it is to stay motivated, enthusiastic, or “up” when faced with one negative person or situation after another, hour after hour, all the time? long day?

Law firms are negative, because they are made up of lawyers. Also, a lawyer’s secretary is often depressed because of her boss. After all, how would you feel if you were a legal secretary and ready to quit for the day? She pokes her head into her boss’s office and says, “Hey boss, have a nice day!” He snarls at you, “Don’t tell ME what to do!”

This is how it is in most law offices. Wouldn’t this negative atmosphere rub off on you too if you had to constantly work in it?

Of course, clients are often negative because of the things they are dealing with: criminal matters, traffic violations, divorces, bankruptcies, corporate issues, breaches of contract, and many, many other types of things. When you’re a lawyer, you have to handle those negative clients, and then fight other lawyers and judges on top of that.

At the end of the case, you often have to fight your client to collect your fee. Especially if you lose! What business! No wonder lawyers are negative people.

Practicing law is very similar to practicing prostitution. In both cases, the value of the services provided decreases dramatically, once those services have been provided. Because clients do not like to pay once services have been performed, many attorneys charge their fees upfront.

So, we lawyers spend all of our days fighting with everyone we come in contact with. Then we spend the nights worrying about the next day’s activities. And you thought being a lawyer was just a lot of fun and games, right?

Next time we’ll talk about the mixed messages lawyers often give people.

By admin

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