Survive His Adventure: Steps To Take When The Bastard Cheats On You

Boom! She hits you hard and rips your heart out. The love of your life has been cheating on you with another woman. That dirty son of a bitch of a husband has done a lot over the years to piss you off, but nothing he’s done in the past even remotely compares to this. His affair has violated your love and trust, leaving you feeling powerless and asking “why?” Now you have to deal with a lot of emotions and feelings so that you can start to rebuild your life and relationship.

After finding out about their husband’s infidelity, most wives want to try to deal with this bad situation and find a way to save their marriage, especially if they have children. Women tend to do what is best for their family and their marriage, even if it means swallowing their pride to forgive their cheating husband.

So, for the purposes of this article, we will assume that you are one of those wives who wants to heal your marriage by giving up your spouse and taking steps to rebuild it. However, it’s human nature to want to know why her husband cheated on you, so your first step may be to get her side of the story. By understanding why her husband cheated on you, you can decide what help she may need to get through this difficult time.

You might find that your infidelity was a symptom of a much deeper problem in your marriage or it might have nothing to do with you and your marriage. While you may never know exactly why it happened, you’ll gain a basic understanding so you both can work together to rebuild your relationship.

Here are some things you need to do to heal your broken heart, forgive your husband, and save your marriage:

The first thing to avoid is making major decisions about your marriage at this time. Your emotions are raw and you need to process things slowly. Now is the best time to reflect personally on your marriage, your husband, your family, and yourself.

You need to end the affair immediately without further sexual or physical contact with this person. If he’s not willing to do that right away, then you know where he stands. If he ends the relationship immediately, then you and your spouse should be tested for HIV/AIDS and STDs before resuming unprotected sex. You don’t want to further complicate your situation by contracting a disease.

You need to cry and let out all the emotions that are inside of you. That being said, just remember that this is usually a slow process that will take several weeks or months to work through both individually and as a couple.

One good thing to do at this point is to start keeping a journal where you can write down your thoughts and feelings. Writing down these feelings will help you deal with them and give you some clarity about what you are going through emotionally. It is very normal to feel anger, frustration, grief, depression, loneliness, and uncertainty, so writing about these emotions on a daily basis will help you chart a course toward personal healing.

You need to make sure you take care of yourself during this difficult time. You must eat even if sometimes you don’t feel like it. It is very common for wives dealing with infidelity to experience many physical ailments such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems, nervousness, and the like. Additionally, some women turn to alcohol and/or drugs to help them deal with this emotional roller coaster they are currently on. You don’t want to abuse your body with these chemicals during difficult times.

You need to have fun doing things that bring you pleasure and happiness. There is a lot of truth to the old saying, “Laughter is nature’s best medicine.” You should get out of the house and do some things that bring you a smile and make you laugh. If you don’t treat yourself to having fun during this emotionally difficult time, you can become depressed, and your anger can eat away at you to the point of bitterness.

Write your husband a detailed letter telling him exactly how you feel. By writing this down, instead of trying to talk to him face to face, you can avoid possible emotional breakdowns and/or extraordinary feelings of anger. When you write this letter, phrase everything in terms of your specific feelings. Let him know the feelings he is experiencing due to his thoughtless act, but don’t be mean. Write something like, “Your selfish act made me feel disrespected and worthless. You made me feel deep anger and I have lost faith and trust in you.” No man wants to make his wife feel terrible things, so by writing this for them, you are clearly indicating what is going on inside of you.

As part of the healing process, you should ask your husband as many questions as you want. She needs to hear her answers to her tough questions. Her answers may shed some light on some deeper issues or issues in your marriage that both of you need to work on to fully fix your marriage. You need to realize that she may not get satisfactory answers to all of her questions because your husband is not sure why he did what he did or may not be willing to share everything with you right away. Just remember, this is a healing process, so it usually takes time.

By asking your husband questions, you will probably learn a lot about the type of affair he was involved in with the other woman. Obviously, a one-night stand would probably mean less emotional involvement between the two of you compared to a long-term emotional relationship that also included sex. Also, you need to see if he was thinking that this other woman was someone he would consider marrying if the two of you got divorced. By understanding this, you’ll get a clearer picture of where her heart relates to you.

If necessary, you should get help from professional counseling. Most wives need this help to deal with all the emotions and feelings that go through them. Some wives can survive this situation by using online resources or reading marriage help books. You have to do what you think will work best for you, just don’t try to beat this yourself.

One thing you should avoid is telling too many people about your adulterous affair. While most people want to help you in any way they can, they could also give you a lot of bad advice or stir up angry feelings that you’ve dealt with before. Decide carefully with whom you want to share this personal information, and then ask them to respect your privacy by not sharing it with anyone else. These close friends and family can be of great help and support to you, so reach out to them as often as you feel you need them.

If you have children, you need to let them know that you are going to be okay. And depending on their age, you may want to share with them what is going on between you and your father. It’s important to be honest with your children during this time, but don’t share too many details with them. You don’t want to create undue stress in their lives.

Be careful not to start blaming your husband or the other woman. In most cases, this act of infidelity is just a symptom of a larger problem in your marriage, so be careful here until you have a chance to learn more about your husband’s thoughts and feelings. Also, solely blaming the other woman would not be helpful. Remember, it takes two to tango, so you both need to share the responsibility.

Finally, it takes time to get over the pain and anger of an affair. You cannot expect painful feelings and mistrust to go away quickly. You may have made a commitment to yourself and your spouse to forgive them and rebuild your marriage, but that doesn’t mean all negative feelings will go away quickly. Your marriage has been upended by this horrible situation, so be patient as you deal with all of these emotions and feelings.

It won’t be easy, but your marriage can survive your husband’s selfish act of infidelity. Over time, you may even find that your relationship will become stronger and more meaningful because of your commitment to rebuilding your marriage.