Guilt is a useless emotion

I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.
If a child is raised with guilt, they will feel guilty.
If a child is brought up in shame, they will feel shame.
If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

Of course it’s not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while you waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

There is no such thing as guilt, you can’t go to the store and buy a pound or a bag of guilt. It is a self-centered, man-made emotion that is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it’s for being a woman, for the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, for being a sexual human being. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this on to each new generation? Most of the time we do it unconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used to our advantage in certain situations.

Many moons ago the feminine Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, she was honored and valued. Did the guilt arise when we stopped tuning in to that energy and were slowly overcome by the masculine energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows where the fault originated. I’m not saying it’s a female-only emotion, nor am I pointing fingers, my point is just for this particular article.

Guilt has kept so many trapped in the same place for years. Because? Just as the poem says, it is passed down through the stories told to us by our parents, grandparents, teachers, and role models. These stories were intertwined with limiting beliefs that prevented us from reaching our full potential in life. This useless excitement has become a vicious cycle that many are still trying to get out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

You have a great idea that will make you a lot of money. Then the guilty thought kicks in, you start hearing the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You can even see photos of the people telling the story. Or, even worse, you want to express your sexuality or your sexual energy and you hear that voice that says “nice girls don’t.” Well guess what, nice girls do, and have been for years. Even those Catholic girls in high school who swore they wouldn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us for the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves from the past, to free ourselves from guilt. It’s time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear-based thinking. If we take a good look at why we feel guilty about a particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something that happened to us from someone else. And to think that this is ruling our days!!

Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether to take the blame or let it go. Give yourself a moment to think about how you would feel if you decided right now to let go. How would it feel to have taken it out with the trash on Monday morning? How does he feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often does he take the trash out on the street and then go out and bring it back to the house? Never, right? The same should happen when you let go of guilt, once you turn it off, let it out. In fact, don’t even smell it again.

How can we free ourselves from guilt? Here are some steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

1. Write down what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write firmly, don’t hold back, just let it go, let the emotions flow. Once you’re done, leave it for a few moments, then come back and write some more. Don’t read it again, tear it up, or burn it. As you repeat “I now choose to let it go, it no longer affects my life.”

2. Sit down with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, listen to the stories that other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if it is your fault or someone else’s. When you have sat with him for as long as you can, allow yourself to let him go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body, and say I choose to let it go. I no longer need this in my life. I let him go in exchange for peace.

3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling yourself or someone else the story of guilt, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be mindful of the thoughts and stories you tell—we get to choose them, after all—they might as well be positive.

4. Train your mind to look for things to be grateful for. You will always find what you are looking for, again it could be a positive.

By doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge that thoughts and feelings have on you. Memories may return from time to time, but emotions will not take over you, they will not control you. Quilt is really a useless thrill, with a choice attached to it. I choose to let go so I can fly for the rest of my life free as a bird. Break free.