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Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Steve Jobs and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Doesn’t it seem like this year is the Year of the Great Apology?

Every time I turn around, someone is giving a press conference, looking deflated, dejected, and apologizing to a room full of cameras, microphones, and the entire United States. Even before they finish apologizing, someone else is being accused of a wrongdoing or an embarrassing mistake and you can count on the fact that they will soon tell us how sorry they are too.

My first thought on this outpouring of apologies is: why did you just NOT make the mistake in the first place? Think things through. Don’t cheat on your wife. If she can’t handle that, then file for divorce and then start dating other women, unless of course you’re hoping to create a scandal. Don’t rush to market her latest product unless you’re pretty sure it’s flawless. It’s not good for your reputation or your company’s reputation if you start selling lemons and have to make it up to those who bought it.

When I find myself in a situation where I need to say I’m sorry, it’s usually for very different reasons than people who have been in the news lately. I apologize that I forgot to do something, I may have overreacted a bit or had a miscommunication with someone. Nothing too serious, thankfully. When I was little I was taught to:
1) Apologize if I did something wrong and
2) Think before you act and speak (Thanks, Mom!).

I have this personal moral code that makes me feel horrible when things go wrong and I let people down, so I try to make sure I don’t do anything that I know will cause problems and result in the need for an apology. Even if I’m 95 percent sure I could get away with it, I probably won’t. I feel bad and like I have to apologize for things like being five minutes late for a doctor’s appointment or forgetting to respond to a friend when she emails me with a question. Obviously, I could never imagine deliberately doing something mean to an important person or someone really important to me and having to deal with apologizing (Tiger, I’m talking about you).

I feel like I’m a generally positive person who tends to expect the best from people unless they’ve come the other way, which means I can’t understand how some people can mess up or do something wrong and NOT apologize at all. That seems unfathomable. I know some people have that personality or are just in a situation where they don’t feel remorse. Sometimes I think that I care too much about making others happy and making sure everything is okay and that it would be better if I was a little more tired. I’d like to feel free to say, “Oh I didn’t RSVP to your wedding. Oh well” instead of “Oh no! I’m so sorry, I totally forgot! I feel so bad!” However, I imagine that is not going to change any time soon, and I will continue to avoid such situations. Why do you apologize? Are you like me, an apology evader, or are you overloaded with apologies?

As I go online tonight and turn on the TV tomorrow, I’ll be wondering who will be the next person to break the news with an apology. Will it be Lindsay Lohan apologizing for violating her probation or perhaps Mel Gibson for her angry tirades?

All I know is that it won’t be me on CNN saying “I’m sorry”!

By admin

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