A helping hand for the dying

What if someone very close to you was on the fast track to death, perhaps due to illness, perhaps a sudden illness, or perhaps just fading into old age? What would you do? What is anyone to do when all else has failed and the end is near?

Nobody gets out of here alive! That is the fact. We are all gonna die

one day or another. And as an unpleasant fact that it is, one must be pre-

prepared for that day to come, sooner or later.

What if a terrible accident left you in a permanent vegetative state?

Would his family know his wishes or would they be left arguing

on the empty shell of a body that once housed You, the individual? It has happened before, while we were all morbidly fascinated watching the fate of the young woman in Florida, to find out who would win this last battle for her life: parents or husband.

Of course, these were extreme circumstances that the average person won’t have to determine, but still, the discussion of end-of-life issues is a

need.

As a volunteer hospice patient for many years, I have witnessed the end

of life problems with a number of people. I consider it a special gift to be

admitted into a person’s life at the most vulnerable and touching moment,

a gift of being present at the edge of the pass. I am also reiki

practitioner, which is a form of practical healing that channels chi, or

life force energy in my patients. I have used it on many occasions.

to facilitate the dying process, creating a protective and calm environment in

their bodies.

Although not all deaths are what might be considered “good deaths”,

was lucky enough to help at the bedside of patients who died a good

death: family members present, pain managed to a level of resistance and

an attitude of acceptance of the inevitable.

Nobody wants to die alone.

Even patients who are medicated with large amounts of morphine or other narcotics are aware of their surroundings, hearing being the last sense that

die. One should approach a deathbed with a sense of quiet reverence, as if a baby were sleeping in a cradle. When a person prepares to leave this earth,

your senses are heightened by the feel of the energy in the room, the smell,

and the sounds These are the last contributions to your bodies in this life.

As the people near their final departure, the veil that separates the “real”

world and the spiritual world becomes clearer and more transparent. I have

I had patients tell me about dead relatives and angels visiting them in their

next to the bed, waiting for his transition. It’s very comforting to know that it’s not.

only family members are on the side looking at them, but others in the

spiritual side are also taking care of them.

Most people will have stopped eating in the last few days. Your breathing will become what is called the “death rattle”… heavy, labored breathing. If they

are able to do so, some patients will curl up in a fetal position on their right side, called the “sleeping lion” position, which will help the spirit exit the top of their head.

Patients respond, even under the cloud of drugs, to touch. Their extremities will feel cold, as if the withdrawal has already begun to draw their life force out of the center of their bodies.

I once visited a friend’s father while he was dying in the hospital. While he apparently slept, a nurse tried unsuccessfully to draw blood from him, but he couldn’t.

draw enough blood due to lack of blood pressure. He was fidgeting and uncomfortable as she pushed and shoved at her arm. Silently I sat next to her and placed my hands on her head, the flow of energy immediately began to transfer to him. He turned to me, trying to speak, but only groaned because the effects of the morphine were too strong to overcome. I thought he knew I was there to help and he didn’t want any more treatment from the nurse. I asked the nurse to stop pricking him with needles while she worked on him, which she was kind enough to do. The session lasted about an hour and a half. During that time, he went from an agitated state of extreme restlessness to a peaceful sleep. I stayed for several more hours, watching him sleep, holding his hand.

I eventually left the hospital, but told the family that I would be back first thing in the morning to check on her. There was no need. They called me before 8 in the morning with the news that he had passed away very quietly at 6:30 in the morning. Apparently, a son had sat with him all night and when the son got up to go to the bathroom, his father took her last breath. . So aware was he of the son in the room that he didn’t want his son to see him die. It’s not an unusual thing

by the way, so that parents protect their children to the end.

People die as they live.

I have witnessed people suffering from end-stage cancer and ALS who have been adamant NOT to take pain medication. These brave and exceptional patients felt they wanted to remain coherent and present until

the moment of his final departure. While this choice seems incomprehensible to most, I was very surprised by his ability to remain true to his ideals. It is probably so hard to support a person close to you while watching this

process, a dying person’s desire to maintain control over their circumstances is their ultimate requirement. And who are we to set an end-of-life standard? Crossing over is an intensely unique process, not unlike being born into the world.

With much advancement in medical technology nowadays, we are blessed to be beneficiaries to extend our lives. However, it would be wise to discuss with our loved ones how far we are willing to go to prolong our lives… what the quality of life will be for both ourselves and those in our care. Most people don’t like having a lot of tubes attached in a hospital.

Room, but they prefer to die at home, in their own familiar environment.

Death is not an end, but a passage. It is not a failure to survive, but a gateway to the spiritual realm. Death is often the end of a person’s suffering and a sense of relief for those who care for them.

I used to believe that diseases like cancer that slowly steal life from the body

they were a terrible fate. I have witnessed the gift of time that cancer can give

his patients: time to make amends, time to put things right, time to be together, a finite time where each and every moment counts. And that’s the kind of time well spent that will carry survivors through the days of grief to come.

We all have so many days here on earth to live out our lives. If we could realize how fast time flies, we could live a more joy-filled life for

the precious moments of togetherness.

Life is short, be happy.

As difficult as it is to be the caregiver of a loved one who is about to pass away, it is a

Final act of love and compassion. The simplest act of being there, holding

One hand is really all that is required.