What to say and what not to say at your company’s end-of-year party

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when businesses around the world are getting more festive than ever, with Christmas music playing throughout the buildings, dazzling decorations, and of course, a big party to celebrate the season.

At these parties, you are sure to join in the conversation with your colleagues. What an opportunity this gives you to bond with newcomers and enrich longstanding business partnerships!

Of course, you don’t want to can these conversations, because they would seem artificial and robotic. However, it is helpful to keep in mind a few guidelines that will make the evening more enjoyable for everyone you come in contact with, and will make your teammates remember you more favorably. So I suggest you consider these four tips for making small talk at your club’s annual party.

FIRST: Stay away from politics. Because so many of us stay informed by watching the news, we get saturated with interviews and commentary about who’s good and who’s bad. Most of us hope that when we go to our corporate party, we won’t be bombarded again with conversations about indictments, betrayal, accusations, trials, resignations, firings, inappropriate comments, misuse of email, and other distressing topics.

Not only are you and your colleagues tired of listening to political pundits who seem to be paid by the word, but there’s another fact to consider: In most cases, talking about politics won’t change someone’s mind. no one, neither yours nor theirs. What happens instead is that very stubborn people will get frustrated, angry, and even hostile.

President George HW Bush’s recent funeral reminded me of his call for a “kinder, gentler nation.” Unfortunately, we are not there yet. Too many fanatics chafe when more moderate individuals question his judgment.

SECOND: Stay highly positive. This is not a time for sadness and doom. We have a lot of that the rest of the year. For a couple of hours, we all want to relax and stay optimistic. Examples:

–We may be tempted to say, “The service at our table seems especially slow. That table over there is enjoying dessert, while our main course hasn’t even arrived.”
Instead of that negative approach, you could comment, “Well, I noticed another table got their dessert before we got our food. But kudos to those foodservice professionals – they’re doing a great job serving so many meals at the same time.” weather”. Amazing how well they do it!

–Again, we might be tempted to say, “Aren’t you shivering? Below freezing outside, and it feels like that in here, too”? It’s much better to stand up and say, “I’m going to ask our host if he can adjust this thermostat. I think we’ll be more comfortable with a couple of degrees warmer.”

It reminds me of one of the times my wife and I took a cruise. Every night we ate with the same two couples. One couple was jovial, upbeat and positive. The other couple spent the entire dinner talking about everything that had gone wrong that day. Guess which couple we fondly remember and would like to have dinner with again.

THIRD: For tip number three, be very careful with your offhand jokes and comments. Headlines throughout the year have confirmed this new reality: language that might previously have been tolerated has become unacceptable, offensive and, in extreme cases, leading to highly undesirable publicity and even legal action.

Naturally, we can still compliment another partygoer on her looks and how well she dances. Tastefully expressed compliments are welcome. Good judgment tells us the borders of language that we must not cross.

FOURTH: My fourth tip is also very important for the conversation. A long time ago I read this advice somewhere: “When you’re having a conversation, make sure to drop it once in a while.”

Think for a minute about the men and women you most enjoy being with. You most likely won’t name the gentlemen or ladies who tell many long-winded stories that dominate time with you. Quite the opposite… you’re going to
have high esteem for the acquaintance who makes comments like these:

“Very interesting…tell me more…so what happened?”

When you become the most enthusiastic listener at your club party, you can easily become the most memorable conversationalist.

In closing, I recommend putting these conversation tips to use at your company’s New Year’s Eve party. You’ll be glad you did, and so will everyone you associate with at the event.