The seven most important words for cross-cultural collaboration

Even when you know nothing about the country and background of a multicultural colleague, there are seven words you can use to spark rapport and collaboration.

I was reminded of this on a recent trip to Colorado with my friend Brian Adams. With twenty years of experience working in more than ten countries in Africa, Europe, North America and Asia-Pacific, Brian is an authority on cross-cultural collaboration. Based on his research and experience, he is writing a book with the working title Collaboration in a globalized world: the power of the cultural paradigm.

One of the points that Brian emphasizes is the positive effect that comes from learning other languages, even in small portions.

In a modest but illuminating way, Brian proved it to me when we stopped for lunch in Colorado Springs at a Middle Eastern restaurant called Arabica Café.

After we walked in, the gentleman behind the counter greeted us and asked for our order. I prepared to indicate my choice, but Brian spoke first and with more social grace than I would have. He recognized by the man’s accent that English was not his native language. Smiling, Brian told him that the food looked and smelled great, then greeted him warmly in Arabic: “Salaam aleik!”

I am relying here on Brian’s interpretation of the Arabic in this conversation. However, I rely on my own observations to see how the man’s face lit up and how happy he seemed when addressed in his native language. Enthusiastically, he returned the salute: “Wa-aleikum issalaam.”

Brian learned that the gentleman’s name was Kamel, and that he was born in Lebanon and raised in Egypt. He asked how Brian knew Arabic.

“Ana tikelim bil-‘arabiya”. Brian said that he studied at university and discovered that Arabic is a beautiful and poetic language. He learned more over the years while living in some countries where Arabic was spoken.

Kamel took our lunch orders and Brian said thank you “Shukran”.

“‘Afwan,” replied Kamel.

Probably due to the report Brian established with Kamel, a woman soon came over to our table and left an entree of falafel and hummus for us to share. “Greetings from the manager,” she said.

Because Brian was able to connect with Kamel on his own terms, on his own terms, what would otherwise have been a routine transaction became an enjoyable and memorable event.

Here is a lesson for all of us. When you take the time to learn another person’s language, particularly when you are in the majority culture and their language is not widely spoken, you pay a great compliment and give the other person remarkable respect.

While we may lack the diverse cultural experience and language skills that Brian has gained, we can still take positive and impactful action by using the seven most important words for cross-cultural collaboration.

Here they are: “In your language, how do you say…?”

Then continue with items like these:

• How to say your name correctly in your mother tongue.
• How to say hello and offer a proper greeting.
• How to say thank you and that you appreciate your time with them.
• How to offer a proper goodbye when your interaction comes to an end.

Even if you don’t know a syllable of your cross-cultural colleague’s language, you can still learn using those six key words.

Write down what you learn and keep using the phrases. Ask your counterpart to correct your pronunciation. Whether the person is a teammate, a customer, a supplier, any type of business partner, make the effort to connect with them in their own language.

Even if you make a mistake, they will appreciate the respect and effort you are making.

It’s simple, it’s fun and it breaks walls.

Speaking of walls separating people, an indelible example of using another language to connect is John F. Kennedy’s inspiring speech to the people of West Berlin on June 26, 1963. At the time, the Cold War was on. in full swing, and the Berlin Wall had recently been built, separating communist-controlled East Berlin from free West Berlin. More than a million people gathered to hear the US President’s address in what could be the largest crowd ever assembled for such an event in history.

One can easily access online video and audio of the speech. If you watch, you’ll see that a key to Kennedy’s relationship with the audience, and the impetus for the most enthusiastic applause and cheers from the crowd, is when he speaks to the people of Berlin in German.

Kennedy was not perfect in his pronunciation. Twice in the speech he says: “Ich bin ein Berliner.” His intention was to express: “I am also a Berliner”. He wanted to convey the feeling that he was with them for freedom against the threat of oppression so close.

But Kennedy made a subtle mistake in pronouncing those words, because “Berliner” in German can also refer to a certain type of cake. Instead of expressing that he was like them in spirit, a freedom-loving Berlin native, what Kennedy actually said was, “I’m a jelly doughnut, too.”

The crowd understood what he meant, and in their applause they expressed exuberance at his attempt to speak in a way that was more meaningful to them.

So, if you prefer, those can serve as an alternative to the six most important words for cross-cultural collaboration: “I’m a jelly doughnut too.”

Whatever it takes for you to remember to learn and use meaningful expressions in your counterpart’s language, do it. Your collaboration will improve, even if your pronunciation doesn’t.