The funniest words in the English language

These words sound funny to me for some reason, and if someone didn’t know the meaning, one could guess pretty well from the sound.

• Waste – whatever it is, you know it’s not good and you don’t want to get involved
• Fair – Put together two groups of drinkers from different countries, this is what you get. You know one when you see one.
• hootenanny – I’ve known musicians from all eras since the 60’s, so I have a sign in my house that says “No Hootenannies”, the word is more fun than the event itself.
• Scribble – everyone does it, not many will admit it, but it’s fun
• Banana – It’s fun to say even if you add more syllables. I like 5, then rhymes with “Roseannadanna”
• Pijama – is it singular or plural, can you have one?
• Armadillo – some kind of military vehicle, right?
• Binder – sounds like something to drink, as in “I was so ripped last night I ruined the place”
• nighthawk – What did poor Will do?
• Talkative – famous Latino philosopher, or maybe a Star Trek character, “Spock, go find Loquacious, he knows intergalactic philosophy”
• Testicle – taken to testify, testimony, testament, as you swear to take the family jewels when you do (or as the Bible says in its original TESTAMENT, “Abraham grabbed his thigh” – close enough!)
• Ne’er-do-well – the funniest expression for the lazy has to be Shakespeare
• Pawn – watch “ne’er-do-well” because it’s more fun
• Oil – is an ancestral track, pronounced with two or three syllables, as in “aw-eee-yull” in the South, sometimes “awl”, and pronounced “earl” in The Honeymooners, “oh-ill” elsewhere
• Shorts – And can you believe people would hear that and still use them? “Yeah, I’ve got to get me some of those bloomers, look what they’re about”
• Haberdashery – a middle eastern fast food place?
• Peccadillo – this can mean several things, one is a small armadillo
• Swamp – It is usually said with two syllables, if you are from one it is not so funny.
• Impudent – from Lawrence of Arabia, “you, sir, are a cheeky knave.” (it’s more fun if the English use it)
• elbow – you have to pause between syllables, and when you think about it, where did this word come from? Why aren’t there other bows in the body like knee bow, neck bow, leg bow?
• pumpkin – this is a compound word made of two smaller words and fun that way too because it’s one step beyond kissing cousins
• burley – yes sir, he was a burly man, not a girly girl
• Gargoyle – wait, is this english? gargling came from the sound that gargoyles make during storms anyway.
• forgot – he’s an Irish valet or a Greek author, “O’blivion, let’s go with the seersucker today and bring me that new volume of Oblivion too”
• gerrymander – a small amphibian? some cricket position, as in “gerrymander is now starting for Manchester”
• Anonymous – most prolific writer in any language; the only word that rhymes with “hieronymous”
• Bugger – funny no matter how you use it, it applies to many as in “that old booger!”
• petticoat – a little coat? and goes where? is it a coat for what exactly?
• copacetic – I think my grandmother used to prescribe this homeopathic remedy as a pharmacist in the 1920’s before it was outlawed.
• hot dog We laugh at them, we make fun of them and we eat them!
• Grenade – Let’s see, what shall we call that fruit? maybe it is related to granite?
• swedish turnip – that street urchin was definitely a pest, have you ever seen a kohlrabi?
• jellyfish – Is it edible, in a sandwich with tartar and peanut butter? now that’s just disgusting..
• Daffodil – either a cartoon character or an Irish weed
• Sabbatical – this can’t be good, I think it involves worshiping the devil and dancing naked in groups
• Chinese orange – this is a word that is not said in mixed company, and every child knows that it is a certain part of the body that cannot be mentioned
• embarrassed – I had to be gassed to do this once