The dark night of the soul: 7 things to consider when going through a transformation

While transformation is what we are all doing here as we continue to express, expand, and live our lives on purpose and out loud, it is not the most comfortable journey most of us think it would be.

In fact, it’s downright rocky at times!

Michael Beckwith of the Agape International Spiritual Center goes so far as to say “Sometimes transformation feels like annihilation”, so powerful are the forces of change.

Have you ever felt like this? As if you no longer knew who you are, the identifiers that made your world safe were no longer safe, you woke up one morning and said “WHAT?” I did not sign up for THIS! But then you can’t go back? Does any of that sound familiar?

Are we in good company here?

Okay, because here’s the deal: here’s how it boils down.

Something has to be launched for the new to take shape. That is the nature of transformation. It is deep. And it takes time. It’s nothing less than bursting into our own seams of human limitations and finding out who we are, off limits, and hanging out until it becomes the new comfortable platform (until the next transformation).

But it all leads to this, quoting Michelangelo: “As the marble is wasted, the statue grows.”

In other words, we must release what no longer serves us or what we have grown, if we want to reach our spiritual stature. There is no other way.

Now when we are in this phase, it feels dark. That is why spiritual communities refer to it as “The dark night of the soul.” In fact, it feels like the moon is outshining the sun, because we can’t feel the heat or see the light. We are navigating a path that we had not traced before, essentially in the “dark.”

We are uncomfortable outside of our game and we are not so willing to be there.

But if we look at nature and how the caterpillar transforms into a chrysalis before being released as a butterfly, or how a fetus grows into a womb for nine months, we can recognize that this is the natural evolution of the forces of change.

Or think about this: the oak, tall, beautiful, expressive, existed in the acorn before turned into an oak tree. So are the seeds of our potential. Transformation is what opens that seed to us.

So in terms of transformation. If you find yourself in the middle of a “dark night” of your own, or are wondering, “What the heck?”, Here are some things to consider:

1) This too will pass. Everything that goes up has to go down. If we look at everything that nature has to teach us in the four seasons, spring returns. Always.

2) Give up the NEED to understand. While you are in transition, you may NOT know what you are doing. So don’t expect you to know what all of this means. Just take the next logical step and move forward to the best of your ability. Check in with yourself more often and trust where you are taken. Sometimes, in times of change, undertaking some creative activity is helpful because it gives you an outlet to make the “intangible” tangible, shape the formless, and satisfy the rational mind that wants to take control.

3) Get more rest. Like the caterpillar in its cocoon, hibernation is common in times of transition. Not wanting to hang out with people too much or even have the energy to be as social as normal is perfectly logical. You just have to know that it is not forever, it is only for now. And now it is transitory.

4) Stay away from judgments and try not to set yourself big goals. When you are going through a transformation, it is an opportunity to step in and reevaluate. Great strides are sometimes made during times of transformation, but surprisingly they come as a result of “surrender” and not as a result of massive “action.” This is the moment of liberation.

5) Find the answered prayer. Sometimes transformations come as answered prayer. When you pray for strength, you get opportunities that will make you stronger. When you pray for love, you have opportunities to love more deeply (even if it’s yourself). When you are unhappy in a relationship, naturally, by living it, you are asking for something better. If you make a living in a way that is incompatible with your passion, you are asking for something more. You may not be praying consciously. Simply by living life, you are exposing your desires for something greater. So when you hit rock bottom in an area, ask yourself: How is this sentence answered? What am I called to let go, reevaluate, or acknowledge? Where am I called to grow? And surrender to these responses and know that the works of change are present. Remember: Caterpillar. Chrysalis. Metamorph. Butterfly.

5) Work with a coach or therapist to help you navigate through change. There are exercises you can do that will help you with clarity and direction. If you work with someone, interview them. Make sure they have done their own work so that they are helping from a place of knowledge.

6) Increase your spiritual awareness and practice.. Go up one step. Perhaps now is the time to maintain a constant meditation practice or to take more time to commune with nature. Do yoga. To breathe. Your connection to yourself IS your connection to God and being close to that will help you tap into the bigger picture.

7) Remember that although your hand may be covering your eyes blocking you from the sun, temporarily protecting you from its light, it does not mean that the sun does not exist.

In other words, cats think that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them. Don’t think for a minute that because you don’t feel connected to the Universe (God, Source, Divine Being) during this time, the Universe is not connected to you.

The source of energy IS who you are. The power source IS what you are made of. The source of energy IS your natural heritage.

You are simply undergoing a transformation so that you can claim more IT. And you will demand more. On time.

Remember, the pot of gold is always at the END of the rainbow. And despite a dark night, the sun always shines again.