sex and sensitivity

Once taboo, sex has come of age in the Indian mindset. Although Kamasutra was born in India, an average Indian would give it a shy look at the mere mention of the word “sex”, even today. The rules vary for men and women when it comes to this very sensitive area. The Indian sensibility, while conservative, is slowly but steadily moving in a progressive direction.

Sex brings me three very important schools of thought. One who believes in sex before marriage, two; post marriage sex (I’ll stay a virgin until I find the right person to marry) and three; sex in abundance (have sex at any time with anyone).

Sex before marriage, although prevalent in our society for years, has become a daunting reality. I call it disheartening because everyone who’s doing it doesn’t really have the sensitivity to take responsibility for it. We are a conscious and open generation. We want to explore everything and experience everything. There is also nothing wrong with experiencing sex. Whether we like it or not, our children will have sex before marriage and that is the reality. The important thing is to be aware of all the consequences of our actions. The alarming number of teenage pregnancies and abortions is a clear indication that this definitely requires attention. Additionally, the excitement of experiencing sex can also lead to children and adolescents being abused or raped. Even boys in school face peer pressure if they haven’t lost their virginity or don’t have girlfriends or boyfriends. Parents here have a great responsibility. The role of the parents here should be more that of an educator and a guide than that of a disciplinary one. Most parents tend to avoid such conversations with their children. I remember Sandra Bullock saying in her acceptance speech at this year’s Oscars, “I thank Mom for not letting me ride in cars with kids.” Limits are necessary, but only until your children become adults. After that, they should be left to decide what they want to do with their lives. On the one hand, it gives couples a clear idea of ​​their sexual compatibility before marriage (let’s not forget that sexual incompatibility is one of the main reasons for divorce).

Britney Spears was an amazing teenager. The woman was successful and rich. However, she announced to the rest of the world that she would remain a virgin until she married. Although the oath of celibacy did not last long, there are some who go to the end. In India it is an unspoken rule that men and women are supposed to avoid intercourse until they are married. To the extent that a woman is considered dirty, impure, etc., she has had sexual relations with a man before marriage. Although the younger generation has a more open mind, the older ones keep their thoughts on it. Here the sensitivities vary for the male lot. Men are cleared of all their premarital affairs in most cases. We have seen parents be more strict with time and check-out rules for their daughters than for their sons. That’s right. By keeping women and men tied down, we are producing sex-starved and curious children. Men tend to become more lascivious and sometimes hungry and ignorant. Women tend to be scared more or to the other extreme. In the times when birth control is available for both men and women, there has to be a moderate approach to all of this.

The Tiger Woods and Bill Clintons of this world are not few and far between. I’m sure each of us knows men and women who are unfaithful, have affairs, and have multiple spouses. This is where sex becomes incest and an addiction. Most of today’s Casanovas are not highly regarded in terms of their character. Things haven’t changed too much. It is still as scandalous as it was years ago.

As Carrie Bradshaw says in Sex and the City: “When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You might break a bone or a heart. You look before you jump and sometimes you don’t jump because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”