My Husband Only Cares About Himself And He’s Ruining My Marriage: Tips And Advice That Might Help

Sometimes I hear from wives who feel like they are not an equal partner in their marriage because they don’t have an equal voice. Some feel that their husbands care more about their own feelings than theirs.

I heard a wife say, “My husband is so self-centered. He only thinks about his own feelings and himself. He never thinks about my feelings or the feelings of our children. My husband is like a spoiled child who never grew up. Every Once he doesn’t like his job, he decides to uproot us and move in. If one of his friends or family says he misses him, he automatically invites them for an extended stay without consulting me. If a friend is between jobs, he doesn’t think to offer him a spare room we don’t have. He never considers how our family might feel. It never occurs to him that we might be tired of moving or that we might want a little more stability. It’s like his feelings are all that matter. He never does anything nice to me or compliments me. When I ask him to consider my feelings, he says I’m being petty or I need to go with the flow. I’m so tired of this. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m so close to asking and he divorce. I love my husband and I love my family. intact. But he doesn’t care how I feel he gets so old. What should I do?”

Regardless of why your husband acts this way, a marriage is an equal partnership. Everyone’s feelings count: Some men grew up in a generation where the man’s desires or feelings counted for about twice as much as the wife’s. And at this same time, women were considered to be either too emotional or too needy. I had no way of knowing if this wife’s husband was raised in that generation, but that’s one perspective.

Another possibility is that some people are raised to believe that they are the only ones that matter. Some fathers pamper their sons so much that these same men grow up thinking that their opinions and feelings matter the most. And while her husband may not have had any control over her upbringing, now he certainly has control of his actions.

It is very important that you do not sit silently and allow him to downplay or belittle your feelings. You are not being petty or asking too much to want your feelings to matter. You are hoping to have an equal voice in your marriage. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, your children will grow up with your marriage as a model for their own. No one wants their daughter to think that her feelings don’t matter and no one wants their son to think that her feelings are the only ones that matter. So I fully support you here and I support your insistence that your feelings and needs are just as important as his. You can’t expect to have a healthy marriage if you don’t.

How to handle it when your husband doesn’t seem to value or care about your feelings. (Attack the behavior and not the person). I think the worst thing you can do is not say or do anything and hope this will take care of itself. Additionally, many wives will try to blame, shame, or coerce their spouse into doing better. The thing is, negative strategies often don’t work. You don’t want to use negative reinforcement to bring about positive change. For me, the best strategy is to be very direct and firm with your request and then shower him with praise once your request is fulfilled.

So, in real life, this is what that strategy would look like. The next time the husband dismisses the wife’s feelings, she might respond with something like, “We’ll have to discuss that. Decisions in a healthy marriage are made by two people based on the feelings of both people. But you’re the only one who take the decision”. decisions based on your own feelings. I know you wouldn’t deliberately hurt me, but when you don’t seem to care about my feelings, it hurts a lot. I need to have the same opinion and I need to know that what I feel matters to you. I’m your wife. I know you love me. But I need your actions and your behavior to reflect that love. And when you don’t consider my feelings, I’m just not feeling it.”

Keep in mind that you haven’t made any nasty accusations or implied that your husband is a horrible, selfish person for not caring about how you feel. She can sometimes act selfish, but there’s a big difference between acting indifferent and self-centered and being a nasty, self-centered person. It is very important to understand this distinction. Because when you approach your husband and make it sound like it’s a personal attack, he’ll get defensive. But if you object to the behavior and not the person, then it’s a whole different story.

The next step would be to catch your husband worrying or considering his feelings and then praise him in front of anyone who will listen. Because in order to stop this behavior, her attention must be drawn to it, then she must make a conscious effort to stop it. And when she does, she must be given positive reinforcement so that she wants to keep doing it. People will act in ways that are beneficial to them. If he sees that caring about your feelings makes things better for him, then he probably wants that to happen.