I don’t miss your kiss anymore

Your departure caused a lot of pain, but as time goes by, I slowly learn that thinking about you is just a waste of time. I no longer expect you to come back and realize how much value you have lost after breaking up with me.

I’m sorry, but I can’t miss you. Now I’m fine to be alone in my room without your presence. I am happy lying in my bed without the warmth of your body because I no longer miss your kisses when I feel alone.

Every time I touch my neck, I no longer miss the warmth of your lips on it. Now I’m home to be alone. I realized that your caress before speaks of urgency not of ‘love’. I used to be comfortable in the shade of darkness after turning off the light without your arms hugging my body. I feel a lot of love to compare when I’m by your side. I am experiencing a true love that is enough for me to be emotionally secure when you are by my side.

When I wake up, I no longer feel sad. Every time I see myself in a mirror, I am seeing a person that I have lost when she thought of loving you. A person who was lost for a long time and was never found because she was totally drowned out by the love that I once believed to be pure and true. The person I am seeing now is a far cry from who I used to be, and I am deeply grateful to you. After you left me, I can see clearly and become a version of myself that I never knew I could be.

Gone are the days of crying in my room praying for you to come back. Gone are the days of waking up in the middle of the night feeling severe loneliness because you are not on my side. Gone are the days when I wake up in the morning and don’t want to get up and show up because I feel like the world is betraying me.

There are no more days when I stare at our bed thinking you are there smiling at me. No more days that my knees are shaking while I take a shower in the bathroom and the water from the shower keeps pouring in like the continuous flow of my tears on my face from the heaviness I have felt every time I miss you. No more days where I can’t eat just because I wanted you to cook my own food like you always did when we were together.

I stop to miss you because that’s the right thing to do. When I did this, things developed slowly. I have seen the stupidity I became because I chose to love you. I realized how you have made me the person I am. I fell in love with you and you choose to fall out of love.

The power of your kiss no longer has an effect on me unlike before, I was lost in the desert every time we kissed. I am totally free from you. What I remember most now is how the lie comes to your lips. How your lips are capable of passionately touching my body but in the back of your mind you are thinking of someone else. I am imagining how your lips speak of adoration when we made love, but those words that you have said are not for me.

I don’t miss you anymore and I’m so glad you’re gone. Now I’m glad to be alone. I feel very comfortable sleeping alone. I have more time to be alone. Your absence no longer mattered. I have discovered that I can be happier without you by my side. I learned to free myself from the feelings of sensation that we have shared together. You don’t matter anymore because what I think is me.

I do not miss you anymore. I think of you not because I love you but because of the lesson you give me.

Kiss me again and again but the same love that we shared before is no more. I don’t miss your lips anymore because I moved on.