Honeymoon sex, are you kidding?

I know that I know. Everyone looks forward to having sex on their honeymoon, right? That’s what you hear all your life. Sex on your wedding night – to finally consume the relationship, then sex, sex, sex and more sex throughout the honeymoon. After all, this is the person you’ve been saving yourself for all this time!

Well, maybe that was true in the days before the sexual revolution. Or maybe that’s just what our parents or society wanted us to think. Because nice girls don’t have sex before marriage, right? As little girls, we spend our days dreaming of the big wedding, the beautiful dress, the right flowers, the day we can dress up and feel like a true princess. Oh, and of course, from our prince charming literally destroying us.

Finally the proposal arrives and all that dreaming is embodied in a plan. We (girls) spend weeks or even months doing nothing that doesn’t have something to do with planning that “big day”! After all, we have to find the perfect dress, choose the right color for the bridesmaids. Then there’s registration for all those great gifts, picking flowers, finding a reception hall, etc. etc. So finally the day is only a few days away. You think you have everything under control and it’s time to put your plan into action. You’ve got bachelorette parties to attend (mine was the Thursday before my wedding day to allow for out of town guests), that bachelor party to worry about, the rehearsal dinner (Friday night night) and finally on Saturday the “big day”. “It’s finally here. You get up at 6:00 am because you can’t sleep and the rush of the day begins. You take a shower, try to eat something, gather everyone and go to decorate the reception hall, rush to do your hair and your nails, you do your makeup and dress in just enough time to button up the 100th button before the limo is there to pick you up.

Phew! You did it, you’re married, the reception is going perfectly, and it ends around midnight. You change into your wedding clothes and you both collapse on the bed hoping to get a few hours sleep before your sister picks you up at 5:30 am to take you to the airport so you can finally embark on your wonderful honeymoon. you’ve waited so long. Two flights, three taxis and a boat later, you’re finally there!

You can finally relax, you did it. So now it’s time for all that sex you heard you were supposed to have on your honeymoon. After all, you have to do it, right? You missed it on your wedding night! But, you discover that after months and weeks of planning every detail of the wedding and the rush of the days leading up, you are completely exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally! So what’s up, you spend the first 2-3 days of your honeymoon just allowing yourself to relax, rejuvenate and let your head come down from the clouds. Halfway through your honeymoon and no sex yet, you realize you don’t have time because you have to enjoy the rest of your vacation: new places to see, new adventures to try, etc.

You come home and realize that not only did you not have sex on your wedding night, but you didn’t even have sex on your honeymoon! Oh my! Well you might find this unbelievable but it happened to me and I have some friends who have been brave enough to admit it happened to them too. At least 3 out of 3 of my friends have admitted to experiencing this very phenomenon! All three ended in divorce, hmmm, I wonder if there’s a connection!

So next time, if there is a next time, I will focus less on the wedding and more on the honeymoon!