Does the other woman in the affair feel smug at the thought of breaking up a family?

Many wives would love to know what the other woman is thinking once the affair is over. Many assume that the other woman took pride in separating a man from her family and she was indifferent to the idea that she was potentially breaking up a family. Many wives imagine women setting out to entice married men to leave their homes.

These wives might say something like, “I have never seen the woman my husband cheated on her with. I know she is a little younger. but apparently, this didn’t bother him at all. In fact, my husband finally confessed that he almost saw it as a challenge: getting a tough man to cheat on her. When I became suspicious of the affair, he tried to break it off she tried very hard to not to let this happen. I really don’t want to talk to her or look for her, but I have to admit I wonder what she thinks about all this. I wonder if she feels triumphant because she finally wore down a married man and potentially destroyed a family. No There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not like I have the ability to make her regret it or anything. But out of my own curiosity, I just wonder how smug she feels right now. Even in all the women who cheat with men who are already talked about?”

Honestly, it varies. Just as the personality and motivations of all of us are different, the same goes for women in this situation. Sometimes I hear from them and some of them are quite sorry. Some did not intend to start the relationship. On the other side of the coin, some just didn’t take the relationship that seriously. They were just looking for a mindless distraction, so they don’t have strong feelings one way or the other. And yes, there are those women who see it as a challenge or a game to tempt or deceive married men. And these are the women who can feel like they’ve won a prize when they get him to cheat on them, and feel like they’ve lost something when the affair is over.

I understand why you want this information. I used to have the same kind of questions after my own husband’s infidelity. But I will tell you an unfortunate secret. What the other woman thought or felt is truly irrelevant to her final outcome. Thinking about her or insisting on her is not the best thing for you. Nor fantasize about revenge. Frankly, the best possible revenge is to move on with your life and restore your own happiness, no matter what comes and what it looks like.

I know it may seem too easy for me to suggest that you try to cut her out of your life and move on. But I say this because it is a lesson that I learned. The more you prolong the thoughts about her, the more you will prolong the pain and your own healing. It is quite easy to wallow in misery and depressive thoughts after the adventure, but all of this hurts you more and for a longer period of time. The sooner you can distract yourself by working on yourself and moving forward, the sooner you can get her out of your mind. When you do this, it makes it easier and faster to heal, which should really be your goal.

I know it is very painful to suspect that the other woman felt that she “won” or that she hit you by turning your husband’s head. But think about it for a second. What did she really gain? She had a quick and pointless relationship with a man who already belonged to someone else. She had no chance of a lasting relationship because he tried to end her when there was a danger of you finding out. That had to hurt rather than feel triumphant. The truth is, most of the time, the adventure eventually ends. Yes, it can feel great for everyone involved for a short period of time. But it almost never ends well. And when it’s over, both parties have to face the reality of what they’ve done and accept responsibility for it. In reality, they are looking at a failed, doomed, shameful relationship. And honestly, that can’t feel too good. In fact, it can feel like regret, fear, and guilt. Neither of these emotions feels particularly triumphant.