Behavior Charts: 7 Tips Parents Should Know When Using Behavior Charts

Behavior charts are a mystery to many parents. But they can also be very effective when used correctly. These 7 tips will help you make better use of behavior charts to make your kids happier and better behaved.

Tip #1: Use a single measurable goal.

If the behaviors you want your child to start are not measurable, then how will you (or your child) know when the behavior has changed?

Look for measurable goals that you can see with your eyes like: Make your bed every morning. Do your homework before watching TV. Take out the trash.

Tip #2: Express your desired results in positive language.

Instead of focusing on what you want your child to stop doing, focus on what you want your child to start doing.

Say “Put the dishes in the sink” instead of “Stop leaving dishes in the house.” This little distinction will make a big difference.

Tip #3: Start with low expectations.

If your child has misbehaved or hasn’t done their homework for several weeks, months, or even years, remember… old habits are hard to break.

Don’t expect her to become your version of a perfect girl overnight. Focus on a single specific action that you would like her to start doing and stay on that goal until she reaches it. Think in small steps and focus on one behavior change at a time.

Tip #4: Involve your children in choosing the rewards.

Your child will not respond to the behavior chart if he or she does not enjoy or like the reward. Think about it. Would you like to go to work if you were paid in peanuts? It might work for an elephant, but not for you.

When your child is involved in selecting the reward you’re working toward (and agrees with it!), they’ll be more likely to participate in using the chart.

Tip #5: Be patient.

Even if the behavior changes overnight, you should give it some time to become a new habit. Don’t stop using the chart just because your child has made the bed 7 days in a row.

Continue using the chart for at least a month on the same behavior to make sure the new behavior is firmly in place. As your child improves, you may experience some “wins” toward your goal, and that will feel great.

Tip #6: Take care of your own stress levels.

If you expect your children to behave well, you must be a role model. If you meet his tantrums and defiant behavior with your own style of tantrum, things will escalate…quickly.

Find out what keeps you calm and focused so you can be available for whatever comes your way as your child learns to respect himself and the behavior chart system.

Tip #7: Be consistent.

Behavior charts don’t work on their own. They are driven by responsible parents who act as the backbone of the entire process. Consistency will help build trust between you and your child and allow your child to feel comfortable trusting the process of using the charts.

If you say you’re going to use the chart daily, go for it. If you tell your child that they can invite a friend over for the night as a reward for filling out their weekly chart, by all means, throw the sleepover.

When in doubt, put yourself in their shoes: If your boss tells you that you’re going to get paid on Friday and then Friday comes along and says, “No, no paycheck for you,” you’d start to lose respect for your boss. and your work.

Being consistent can be difficult, but if you can pull it off, you’ll find much more success with behavior charts.