Anxiety attack and counter attack

How do you manage your anxiety so it doesn’t control your life?

I consider anxiety as part of the human condition. We all get stressed about things we have no control over, like illness, loss, accidents, and the prospect of death (ours or someone we love). In order to maintain balance, each of us needs to feel a certain amount of control over our lives. No one is in complete control, but we all have enough to move forward with energy and optimism.

When we take charge of any situation, we are trying to impose order on an otherwise chaotic reality. Occupations tell me something about how people manage their anxiety. Doctors do it with diagnoses. Accountants do it with numbers. Writers do it with words. Lawyers do it with laws.

Some people satisfy their need for control by managing people. Examples include teachers, supervisors, military commanders, and the President of the United States. Some people seem to need more control than others!

When I see someone who is very stubborn – child or adult – I assume that this person has an enormous amount of anxiety and therefore also a great need for control. People who find part or all of their lives out of control lose flexibility. The more unmanageable things seem, the more rigid they become.

Anxiety can cause problems continuously or intermittently. We’ve all had periods where we can’t sleep. Some of us wake up at 3:00 am with terrible thoughts. Some people freak out before or during tests. Medical tests or procedures terrify many of us. Serious loss and catastrophic events—fire, car accident, serious illness, and death in the family—shatter our peace of mind.

Sometimes, too, anxiety tells us that our bodies are on strike. Panic attacks, for example, can indicate that our lifestyle is endangering our physiological balance: achtung! If you live in fear of such attacks, you must realize that managing anxiety is a life skill that all of us must acquire.

To help us sustain ourselves, our brains constantly give feedback to the rest of our bodies and receive newsletters in return. At any moment, I may notice that my nose is itchy, that I’m starting to get hungry, or that I’m feeling nagging irritation (anxiety!) from a nasty phone call or a large bill that arrived in the mail yesterday.

In each case, I will need to recalibrate myself by taking some type of action. Anxiety is just one of many internal emotional states to which I must respond. I use a variety of strategies to solve problems and make myself feel better. If I tune in throughout the day, I can keep working and stay true to my values.

If anxiety looms large in your life, look into the problem. When do you feel anxious? Where are you when anxiety hits? How does it feel in your body? Get yourself a notebook. Write down a few lines each day. How anxious did you feel, on a scale of 1 to 10? What was happening at that time? How long did it last? What helped reduce or end it? How often do you feel anxious in the course of a week?

Play scientist. The more he understands about the role anxiety plays in his life, the better he can handle it. By doing so, he will gain control.

Strategy 1: Take Control. If certain types of activities or events fill you with anticipatory anxiety, plan ahead. What precautions and supports can you implement to make the test less painful? Imagine the worst case. So tell yourself that you are ready for anything.

Some of life’s most unpleasant tasks are unavoidable. For these, consider putting on the blinders: Don’t think about that mammogram until you get to the doctor’s office. If fear grips you in the days leading up to your date, treat it as if you dropped a glass on the kitchen floor.

If the glass were to break, I would immediately sweep up the shards with a dustpan and brush and throw them in the trash. Then, so that no bare foot can step on the splinters you missed, you’d probably vacuum the floor. If I had small children around, I would take the trash out of the house completely. Do the same with unwanted thoughts. Give them the push and empty the container.

cheer up. Talk to yourself out loud. If this feels weird, try practicing in front of the bathroom mirror: “A piece of cake! I can handle this. It’s not a big deal. This won’t take long. I’ve done harder things before. This will be over soon,” Etc.

Remember that the antidote to anxiety is control. Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search for Meaning, described how to survive in a concentration camp by mentally removing yourself from the horrors. In his mind he pictured himself observing and interpreting the scene around him from a distance. This technique, familiar to novelists, helped keep him sane while many others perished. You can do the same by reframing your nemesis to remind yourself of the ways in which you, the choreographer of your life, are in control. If your heart is pounding when you’re stranded on the Claiborne Pell Bridge, remember how much you wanted to see Newport, Rhode Island, on the other side.

Strategy 2: Avoid your anxiety. When fear takes over you, distract yourself. Stay busy. Choose a task or activity that will keep your mind busy and out of trouble.

Schedule worry time. Say to yourself, “I’m going to worry about it between 4:30 and 5:00 tonight, so I can’t think about it right now.” So stick with the deal. When 4:30 rolls around, see how many worries you can make.

Rack your brains out over something wonderful from the past, perhaps a day at the beach or time with an important family member. Choose a memory with lots of sensory details: windswept azure blue sky; bright summer day; the smell of warm sweet hay; the lapping of the cool waters of the lake; the soft ringing of the old church bells; the taste of sticky toasted marshmallows. Then, whenever bad thoughts come to you, switch your mind to the rich and satisfying memory you’ve identified.

Strategy 3: Accept your anxiety. If your anxiety is a monster that threatens to overwhelm you in unpredictable ways, give it a name. It’s not you, after all, but something separate from you.
Embrace your anxiety. talk to him “Okay, Angie, I’m ready for you. I’m all yours. Hit me. Do your worst and be done with it. You can’t get the best of me.”

If specific activities cause you to panic (planes, elevators, syringes, crowds, traffic jams), try some exposure therapy. Plan a campaign to desensitize yourself. For example, if you were afraid to ride an elevator, you could take a friend with you to see one. On successive return visits, you would get closer and closer to the elevator. Eventually, you would step in with the doors open. Then you would step on and close the doors.

You get the picture. At each visit, you would push yourself to the max before the anxiety became overwhelming. Eventually you will succeed in reprogramming yourself!

Strategy 4: Parent yourself wisely. Take good care of body and soul. Alcohol, caffeine, and cigarettes fuel anxiety. Eat sensibly and get a good night’s sleep. Exercise every day and let your training take the stress out of you. While you sweat, think about the things that bother you. In this way, you can expel anger and tension from your body.

Take stock of your progress often. Congratulate yourself on your achievements. Celebrate yourself.

Recognize that difficult jobs deserve rewards. Bribe yourself to endure trials. Learn to give yourself treats that take a few seconds, a few hours, and a few days. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a small child.

Don’t worry about the little things or things that have already happened or are out of your control. Ask yourself, before wasting a lot of time and energy, “In twenty years, who will know the difference?”

Have faith. Say to yourself every day or more often, “With God’s help, I can handle whatever this day brings.”