Anger – Loses his cool and looks like a fool

I recently witnessed a scene in a shopping center parking lot that had a lasting effect on me: two middle-aged women arguing over a parking space. Both were standing next to their cars and shouting at each other while waving their arms in a threatening manner. The argument eventually turned into a name-calling contest, with each trying to outdo the other. The sad thing was that the store was not busy and there were many empty spaces available. Their discussion became so heated that other shoppers started stopping by to watch the show. Meanwhile, the women’s children sat in their cars and watched the whole scene. How proud those children must be!

The fact is that everyone gets angry. Whether it’s with a family member, a coworker, or the stranger who took our parking spot, we all get angry. The problem with getting angry is that there is only a slim chance that you will solve the problem, but there is a much higher chance that you will create new ones.

Anger is really us losing control and when we lose control bad things usually happen. At home it can mean a damaged relationship, in public it can mean a confrontation with a stranger, and at work it can mean being fired or passed over for a promotion. Samaria Maxamus said, “Anger itself does more damage than the condition that caused it.” If you can’t remember that, try: Anger is only 1 letter away from danger!

Let’s be honest here, just like the two women in the parking lot, most of us can look and act pretty foolish when angry, usually saying and doing things we later regret. Getting angry is a lot like being drunk, the intoxicated person is the only one who doesn’t realize they have a problem.

What makes anger so dangerous is that it can happen so fast that we lose control before we know it. The only way to minimize the damage is to regain control.

Before we can begin to decrease our anger, we first have to understand what causes anger. There’s really only one reason we get angry and that’s because someone didn’t act the way we wanted. Interesting, right? Anger is not an action, but how we respond to another’s action. Getting angry is letting someone else control you.

When was the last time something good came out of you getting angry? Benjamin Franklin said, “Everything that begins in anger ends in shame.” The next time you’re upset, try taking a moment to ask yourself these questions: Is it really worth winning this argument to ruin the relationship? How important will this be a year from now? Within a month? A day or even an hour from now?

The moment you regain control you will lose the anger. Don’t let someone else control how you feel.

Who really suffers when you get angry? The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like holding on to a red-hot coal, you are the only one who is going to get burned.”

Why when we hurt ourselves physically do we learn not to do it again, but when we hurt ourselves emotionally do we repeat the same action over and over again? Nobody benefits from anger.

The best way to end an argument is to bite your tongue. That’s not admitting guilt, that’s controlling anger. Take back control. Also, even if you win the argument, you won’t be able to enjoy the present if you’re angry about the past.