Male chastity contracts: necessary or not?

Male chastity contracts: do you need one? They are useful? What do you need to go in one if you decide to have one?

All typical of the questions they ask me about them.

The point is, there is no “right” answer except the one that works for both of you.

John, my husband and I had one for a while, but for various reasons it fell by the wayside, because John has given me full control, which means it can be boiled down to just two words: “Sarah decides.”

But other than that, are male chastity contracts necessary?

And again, I don’t know.

As always, it depends on the people in a given relationship and what they want and expect from it.

If we put aside its usefulness for a moment, I can see the attraction of one, especially for a man, because it formalizes the delivery of his orgasm and in that sense adds another layer of fantasy to the game.

You can laugh (and you probably will if the idea of ​​a contract doesn’t resonate with you), but it’s almost like having a “law” that your wife or girlfriend can “enforce.”

Don’t underestimate the power of a male chastity contract to thrill and excite your man.

But they also have real utility, especially in the early days of the game when perhaps the woman (in particular) is unsure of herself – she has a set of (almost) objective and mutually agreed-upon rules that she can use to guide her own responses. and actions, which can be especially helpful when you’re having some hard-to-cope emotional reactions to your man’s apparent discomfort, distress, and sexual needs.

However, I found that after a while it might become unnecessary and even restrictive. You find yourself having to break or modify the contract (unless you write it in a way that allows wide discretionary powers in the first place). Again, there is nothing wrong with this and for some people it will work fabulously and even increase your pleasure.

My instinct, and I stress that I tend to try not to think with my instinct because it is a notoriously bad thinker in all of us, will generally be used more commonly when there is an element of dominance and submission.

It just has that kind of flavor, and I know this won’t always be the case because John and I have one, but we’re not into the BDSM element at all.

And, of course, some people are against the idea of ​​a male chastity contract. They feel that it is too restrictive and limits a woman’s options, and if she is in control, why is she limited by contract?

Again I agree. Hence my comments on how the bear has been largely forgotten and can be boiled down to those two wonderful words I mentioned: “Sarah decides.”

Ultimately it just depends on what you want and how you feel about it. If you want a male chastity contract, have one. If you are concerned about what to put in it and are looking for the “right way” to do it, then you are already falling into the Taliban’s trap of chastity.

It’s your contract and it governs how you and your partner will interact with each other, so write it in any way you want. I know some people like it to read like it was written by a lawyer, full of words like before, on and in the first part of the second part, and although I think it is a bit silly (I think it is silly in actual contracts, too, because there’s no reason not to write plain English legal documents), it’s entirely up to you.

What I do warn (men and women, but especially men) is to simply write one down and leave it in front of your partner, thinking that this will count as a “gentle introduction” to your desire to play this kinky game.

I promise you, it almost certainly won’t give you the answer you want. On the one hand, your male chastity contract most likely looks like a list of demands and if this is the first thing you’ve heard about it, they will be pretty weird. Under the law, a contract must meet three criteria before it can be considered legally binding: it must have full disclosure, consideration, and consent.

So discuss the terms and give her (or him) time to think things over.

Oh what a surprise … we are talking again about the need for a lot of open, honest and clear communication.

How boring!

But you can’t neglect the basic rules.

With virtually no exception, every time I receive an email from someone who has faced practical and emotional problems playing the game of chastity with their wives, it is because they did not take the time to set the ground rules correctly, so they’re actually not quite right. sure of what the other wants or expects.

I guess if you are going to play this game, you will want to play it in a way that you both enjoy, right?