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I was a teenager in the middle of the last century. Those were the days before support groups. Sensitivity to other people’s problems did not seem to be foremost on people’s minds. And personal matters were mostly kept hidden. As you read this story, you will find many cases of insensitivity that, fortunately, are mostly unknown today.

At the beginning of the 1960s, the role of women in our country began to change. The discovery of the contraceptive pill allowed many women to postpone motherhood in order to develop a career. The feeling of empowerment over their bodies prompted many of them to make their voices heard in a rapidly changing society.

In late 1963, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy first shocked and then energized men and women of my generation to throw themselves into changing the world. As the Vietnam War dragged on through the 1960s, men and women protested loud enough to unseat President Lyndon Baines Johnson.

With the new empowerment of women, many rejected traditional marriage in favor of establishing communes where men and women could live a “free love” lifestyle. (I recently met a man who was born in a commune and had no idea who his dad was!)

It was during these rapidly changing times that I, an undergraduate student at Stern College for Women, took my place in the world as a young married woman. I was 19 years old! My husband, Hershie, 22, was a graduate student at Yeshiva University. We lived in the neighborhood of Manhattan called Washington Heights.

Our world is the Orthodox Jewish World. In the 1960s neither women’s liberation nor building a major career was on my agenda. I wanted my voice to be heard, but I wanted to do it in the context of my Orthodox Jewish life. Having children was at the top of my list!

At the age of 21 I discovered that I had an infertility problem. Today it is called PCOS. Regular OB/GYNs in the ’60s weren’t used to dealing with the new field of “infertility,” so they suggested I see the doctor who had delivered Jackie Kennedy’s babies…a doctor! for the rich! I timidly arrived for my appointment during which I was totally amazed by the presence of the doctor who had attended the First Lady!

Jackie’s doctor suggested that I have a major surgical procedure called a wedge resection. They would cut a wedge of cysts from both ovaries to create a clean surface for new eggs to emerge. I was horrified! The idea of ​​surgery terrified me.

I stopped thinking about surgery when we graduated and moved back to our hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I started teaching kindergarten at Hillel Academy and spent a lot of time “doctoring”.

I underwent all the tests that were available in those days… the ones I remember were called Hysterosalpingography and Frioscopy. Birth control pills began to be used for infertility patients, but researchers had no experience regulating estrogen and progesterone levels in pills, and I became seriously ill after taking just one pill.

Every month brought disappointment. Ovulation was measured daily by taking body temperature. Pregnancy could only be determined by blood tests. There were no rapid pregnancy or ovulation tests on those days. Waiting for the results of those tests was excruciating and ultimately devastating.

Seeing pregnant women was a nightmare. And sometimes women would make insensitive comments about how she hadn’t had a child yet. One of my doctors asked, “Why do you bother with all these tests, etc., you’re never going to have a child?” After such incidents, she would run home crying. Even today, 45 years later, that comment still hurts!

Knowing that G-d has a plan for everyone, I never asked, “Why me?” But, except for the time I spent teaching, I felt very sad and empty. My doctors took another 2 years to mention wedge resection surgery. At that time I was 24 years old and ready for surgery.

To tell the truth, this surgery saved my life. One of my ovaries was so loaded with cysts that it had to be completely removed. The Dr. said that he could have twisted in any direction at any time from the weight of the cysts, which could have cut off my circulation! But for me, an infertility patient, the worst news was that the other ovary was also so polycystic that the doctor was only able to save 1/5 of that ovary. I had surgery to be able to have children and I came out with 1/5 of an ovary! My mom heard the news first and was in shock, even though the doctor assured her that a woman can conceive even with just a small part of an ovary.

Another year passed and nothing happened. She was beginning to feel desperate. Without support groups, there was nowhere to turn for comfort from others who were experiencing the same pain. And I was surrounded by babies, babies, babies!

At dawn in 1966, an amazing thing happened. A well-known fertility doctor from Wales took a position at Magee Hospital in Pittsburgh… the late Dr. David Charles. At the time, Magee, a teaching hospital, was beginning to develop a world-class Fertility Department. The moment I walked into his office, I felt his warmth and optimism. He especially encouraged me when, after examining me, he told me, “Miss, you WILL have a baby!”

Who would have guessed that Dr. Charles was one of 12 doctors in the US conducting clinical trials on a newly discovered drug called Clomephene? (Today it’s called Clomid…which, to my knowledge, has made wedge resection surgeries extinct.) Dr. Charles determined that I was a good candidate for Clomephene success and asked if my husband and I would agree to the opportunity. of multiple births. That question was a no-brainer!

In December 1966 I got pregnant! The first seven months of my pregnancy passed happily without incident. During my 30th week, I got out of bed in the morning, looked down and saw blood on the floor. My mind could barely understand what I saw.

When I got to the hospital, I was already in labor with suspected placenta previa! There were no ultrasounds in those days, so I was prepped for a C-section before Dr. Charles, in front of about 25 medical students, examined me to determine for sure if his suspicion was correct.

Yes, it was a placenta previa, but Dr. Charles determined that there was enough room for my little baby to pass through. The next step was to try to stop the labor. I was immediately hooked up to alcohol intravenously.

The wait began. As the first placenta previa in Clomephene clinical trials, I instantly became a statistic! But my work would not stop. As I was wheeled into the delivery room (there were no delivery rooms in 1966!), a resident doctor stopped the table and announced that he wanted to try to determine the size of my baby. The resident proceeded to produce and push my abdomen. (Remember, there were no sonograms in those days!) He declared, callously, that from the size I could feel, my baby only had a 50-50 chance of living!

Really? Really? Are you kidding? Am I not under enough stress already? If she had the big mouth that I have today, what I would have said to her would be printable!

The delivery room was equipped with an incubator and a pediatrician. The team was ready.

A short time later, my little son slips (literally) into the world. He weighed 3lbs 1oz. It was June 20, 1967. When Dr. Charles pulled it out, I squeezed my eyes shut. Dr. Charles insisted that he look at my baby. I told him if, God forbid, the baby doesn’t survive, I couldn’t bear to spend my whole life with an image of him in my mind. Dr. Charles insisted that he open his eyes…and since, once again, this was many years before he developed my big mouth, I looked at the baby. What I saw was terrifying. He was so small. How could he survive him? He was traumatized.

The baby in the incubator was instantly taken to the NICU and I was wheeled into the recovery room.

The next thing that happened would absolutely NOT happen today: a nurse came into the recovery room, announced that she was giving me a shot to make sure I wouldn’t produce milk. He was too shaken by the events of the day to even evaluate what he was saying. Even though breastfeeding and expressing milk were discouraged at the time and taking her to the hospital was totally unheard of, I fully intended to breastfeed my baby. With that injection, all hopes of breastfeeding were dashed.

In the late 1960s, no family member was allowed to touch their premature baby in the incubator. Day after day, we stood in front of the glass window of the preemie nursery watching our little baby being fed through a feeding tube and connected to what seemed like millions of tubes and wires. Believe it or not, I was afraid to take pictures of him in the incubator because I was afraid the flash from the camera would affect his eyes!

After 2 long and agonizing months, our baby tipped the scales at 5lbs, 8oz. That was the launch weight. The day before his release, I was invited to the nursery to hold and feed my baby for the first time. It was surreal. My baby was 2 months old and this was my first physical contact with him. When I think about it now, he might cry.

2015 Update: Our little preemie is almost 47 years old and has a Ph.D. in molecular genetics! He is the father of two teenagers and he loves to joke with me that any emotional issues he has…stems from the fact that he wasn’t touched until he was 2 months old! Laughing, I thank him for the guilt, but I still feel bad as I wonder what the medical community might have been thinking back then. Better not insist on it.

Over the next ten years, Hershie and I were blessed with 3 more sons and a daughter! Child #2 was also a “Clomid” baby. The joke after that was that we had finally found the “on” button… without the help of medication!

Hershie and I thank G‑d every day for the amazing blessings He has given us!

Kids! grandchildren! During the 1960s, could we have imagined such blessings?

We pray that all of you will be recipients of these same wonderful Blessings!

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