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Are you in a lesbian relationship (or any relationship) and wonder if it’s run its course? How do you decide when to lease? Of course, there are the obvious red flags, like cheating and abuse, but what if the problems are more subtle than that? Here are some ways to know if you should consider breaking up and starting over, hoping to make a wiser decision next time.

  • You feel trapped. The relationship is no longer a source of joy, but an obligation that you must fulfill. You prepare before walking in the door at night.
  • You look forward to the work week.
  • You are talking to the wall. You have tried to explain to her what is wrong with you and how you feel about the relationship, but she does nothing to address your concerns.
  • You feel like you’re doing a disproportionate amount of the relationship-building work. You are the arranger, the talker, the organizer, the planner, the fixer, the doer. If you stop, she does nothing to take over. You are exhausted and hurt.
  • You feel like you don’t have the strength or the will to work on the relationship, even if your partner wants to change it. You just don’t care anymore. The idea of ​​couples therapy is unappealing. You have passed the emotional point of no return.
  • You frequently think of an ex or find yourself flirting with someone new. You may have noticed your partner doing the same.
  • You and your partner are fighting more often and more intensely…or worse, not communicating at all.
  • Your partner ridicules you or seems ashamed of you with others.
  • Your partner tells other people important news before they tell you. Not good. Especially if you hear it from the other person first!
  • Your partner does not consult you before making important decisions.
  • Your partner has no time for you. You try to make plans to be together, but your partner often has excuses to cancel them, whether it’s work, friendship commitments, or just chores. You feel like you are at the bottom of the list.
  • Sex is dead.

If your relationship has 4 or 5 of these signs, as a couple you may be in trouble. If 7 or 8 are hitting the nail on the head, you might start thinking about getting out of the relationship and making some plans toward that end. If the entire list sounds like your life, run!

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